Body Shaming | Part 1

What even is a 'perfect body'? Who decides what that is? Everybody has a different perception of perfection. What one person sees as unattractive, could be somebody else's ideal. I think my sister is perfect, I think certain shoes are perfect, some days to me are perfect, drinks, food but not everybody has the same opinions as me and could see what I see as perfect as complete shit, but that's irreverent to me because I think it's perfect. It doesn't matter what other people think about your physique, if you are happy with yourself, that's all that matters and if you're not, change it? I know for some people you can't physically/emotionally but then you need to learn to love yourself because you are more important than anything else. You do not need to change yourself for anybody ever.

It is so easy to judge people, say hateful things without even realising that your words could really put them down. People on the internet are always dragging people down, It is not OK, it will never be OK to publicly shame somebody for their appearance. The media are to blame for the amount of shaming there is. Comparing older celebrities who have had children to these young, fresh on the scene celebs is completely wrong. labeling somebody as 'fat' because she hasn't got a completely flat stomach, what is that? People tweeting celebrities saying how awful they look because they haven't got super thin legs, or whatever. People are people. Everybody is different but were all the same in the way that if somebody calls out on your insecurites it hurts.

Why is it that no matter what size you are, somebody has something to criticise you for? Everybody nowadays is so judgmental. I haven't a clue why but it should seriously stop. And it's not just guys shaming girls, it's girls against girls, girls shaming guys and then guys vs guys. Why is it anybodies place to say anything about YOUR body. Do people shame people because they aren't happy with their own appearance, so it's only right to make somebody feel  as bad as you do? It's not OK.

I have more to say about this topic and will write about it again in the near future.

Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading.

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Just a Thought

I think there is too much negativity and sadness around at the moment, unhappiness is an all time high. And it's sad because it's so easy to make somebody smile, whether it be showing an interest in their day, paying them a complement or just smiling at them. If anything were ever to happen to people you love you would regret not telling them that you loved them enough. I have a really strong friendships with people because it's so easy to be genuine and tell them how much you're thankful for their companionship, that you love them, that they look beautiful and just showing them general respect. ''You look nice today'' I don't know, just simple things that make people feel good about themselves. My friends and I are always dropping random complements in our conversations and each time it feels nicer to receive. I really don't think we tell people how much we appreciate them enough. 

When I am working if I like a customers hair, nails, clothing or whatever I'll tell them. I'm not afraid to tell people they look good. Seeing a genuine smile from them afterwards is so nice. I hope that something that was so natural and easy to say could have made that persons day. I just wish more people were comfortable with telling people that like what they've done with their hair, or whatever because it's the simple things that go a long way.

Sometimes nice words go over your head. But sometimes they stay with you and when you're feeling unhappy with yourself you remind yourself of when these kind things were said about you. For example, about 4 years ago I was waiting for a friend to get off of her bus and two old ladies got off and without any hesitation said that I was beautiful to my face and spoke so lovely about me to her friend. It still makes me smile all these years later. Negative things however are much easier to remember, again,  for example; the very first time I met my ex's friends about 3/4 years ago (I was youngish and very shy) I heard one girl say "she's pretty", in which another responded "yeah for Shrek" in which they then were laughing and saying "Fiona" behind my back for the whole time I was there and as we walked away. Firstly, I don't know who these girls were, nor do I care, but what I do know is that they made me feel so fucking shit and insecure and I still today think how nasty that was. Secondly I fucking hate Shrek so it was a double insult. Anyway, I'm not green so I try not take it to heart. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything. It is shit that something that they probably cannot even remember saying still pisses me off years later. But then this works either way I guess, if you make somebody happy with a words you've said it would feel so nice knowing that they still are thankful for what you said that random day 4 years ago.

It's so easy to be nice. It's totally cool to not like somebody, you won't always get on with everyone, but don't be a dick about it. Be nice to people. I just think if everyone were to just be nice, and if you think somebody looks nice, TELL THEM they might be having a really shitty day and you could completely change that. Make people smile, it's nice. 

Let me know what you want next. 

Thank You!

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Paris

It's absolutely heartbreaking. This world is so tragic. It's clear that there is so much love in the world as the world is showing their support and praying for the "act of war" in Paris. But why on earth is this happening? It's disgusting, bombing the most beautiful city, of love and breaking thousands of hearts how dare they. 

I'm petrified. My heart hurts, I can't believe that there are people who are capable of such massacre. Its revolting, why is this happening what do they honestly think they'll achieve from this. It's fucking hideous that they've targeted innocent people, families, couples and children. It's horrific they were probably having the the best night of their lives and I imagine some of them even said those exact words and these sick people destroyed their whole life, merciless. They probably were counting down the days until the match or the concert all for their precious lives to end tragically. 

Can you imagine the horror, being there, knowing you probably won't survive. I think even the thought of knowing I was going to die so gruesomely and knowing I'll never see the faces of the people I love, the pain of never seeing my family, never telling people how much I love and appreciate them enough, no future, the thought of that alone could kill me. The fear in that moment would be absolutely sickening. 

I can't imagine how these peoples families and loved ones feel at this horrible time. All I know is that you were probably their last thought and the whole world is thinking of you and praying for Paris. I'm honestly scared for my life because it can be gone in an instant. I hope and pray to God that this all ends and western countries stick together and never give in. Were stronger than them. Please don't start war, love and respect everyone, don't be stereotypical and racist because that's what they want. Spread love and we can try our very best so not let their hopeful "Great War" happen. 

Be safe and careful. 

Thank you for reading  

My thoughts are with Paris and everywhere and anyone affected by the terrorist attacks. 

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Rememberance Day Experience?

You can read this post and think of me as racist or whatever you want but after the disrespect I witnessed today I just kinda wanted to quickly write about it as I'm pretty infuriated. 

There is a hell load of controversy with this topic in that people don't want people who aren't british in the country, (which I don't agree with because people are people). But anyway, today being the 11th day of the 11th month, on the 11th hour of the day it is our country's tradition to do a minutes silence as a tribute to those who lost their lives fighting for their country. 

Today I was on my way to work and a gun was fired at 11am in which the whole town went silent, bar a group of women who were not british. They talked the whole way through in a different language, (everybody around could hear it where they were the only people having conversation). Where they were from is irrelevant but it made me VERY angry. If you're living in England and want us to respect you and your religion DO NOT disrespect our country by talking non stop during our ONE minute silence. 

Thank you. 

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Saying NO

I've seen this a lot recently on various social media, how people are getting shamed for saying no to guys. It really frustrates me. It's so much easier to lie and say you're in a relationship than to say ''No sorry, I'm not interested''. Because when you say 'no' you usually get the 'oh why not', 'let me take you out anyway' or the short and sweet, 'bitch'. Or whatever but when you say that you're seeing someone else people tend to back off. And it's crap that you have to lie to these people to tell them no. I know I'm not the only person who uses it as an excuse, although it may seem like a low blow and a rude thing to do, you don't have to put up the shit they give you after you have said no. I appreciate that it takes balls to ask somebody out, and it's mostly flattering but if I wanna say no, leave it there. 

'''I have a boyfriend' is the easiest way to get a man to leave you alone. Because he respects another man more than you''

I was on holiday in Greece earlier this year I made great friends with group people that were staying in our apartment block. At a club one night these two guys tried talking to me and my friend. I'm usually a great judge of character (if I do say so myself) I instantly knew what type of people they were, I didn't want to talk to them at all because as I knew what their intentions were when talking to us. I was not interested in the slightest. So when they tried it on with me, I declined I got all this crap questioning me as to why I wasn't interested. And yeah okay, I get you wanna know why but don't hassle me and make me feel like I'm a shitty person. If I said no, then no? I said he wasn't my type and I don't fancy him like in the nicest way possible, but this guy was obviously so full of himself and a complete dickhead that he wouldn't stop because he clearly thought he was good enough to carry on. One of the friends we made saw that I was uncomfortable in the situation and came over and said 'are you okay?' I responded 'Yeah I'm fine, let's go though'. And this piece of shit guy said ''oh is this your type then, fat and ugly?' and in that split second he epitomised exactly the type of guy I thought he was. It was so fucking unattractive and disgusting that someone could openly say that to somebody else. I felt so awful like it was my fault that he had had that said to him. There was nothing wrong with our friend and he wasn't fat nor was he ugly but this twat obviously thought he was way better than everyone else. It was so harsh I could've cried with anger and it still infuriates me months later.

Just because somebody may be attracted to you does not mean that you have to be attracted back. It makes me so mad that sometimes you're made to feel obliged to like somebody back. If it's made clear that someone is not interested, don't continue in trying to pursue that person. Talking to guys makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable. I don't really like going anywhere alone because I get heckled or whistled at and that makes me feel very uneasy. I do think it's sad that you have to lie to these people because it is easier than saying 'no' and it shouldn't be like that. 

P.S: If you are one of those guys who after I've said I have a boyfriend say ''Would you cheat on him'' please, go to hell, you are shit.

NO means NO.

Thanks for reading.

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Affairs

I have been SO busy over the past two weeks, back I'm back on track and will have my Wednesday and Sunday posts for you guys! (If you even noticed I wasn't posting LOL)

I got asked on tumblr what my views on affairs were, so sit tight. 

Cheating/affairs to me are literally the highest form of betrayal there is.

When I was 6 years old my dad had an affair, it completely tore my families world apart, it was hideous. Growing up was so difficult, having to get used to this new woman and not fully understanding what was going on. My mum moved to Kent but I stayed living with my dad until I was 12/13. I missed her too much so I left Essex and started a second, secondary school (which was so hard for me as I find it daunting meeting new people and get very anxious about it). It seriously ruined a big chunk of my childhood. Moving away from my best friend and knowing I'd hardly ever see her, Christmas was now difficult, different and awkward, half living with my mum, then my dads at weekends and vise-versa. Just not having that family feel that I craved. I've always been a daddy's girl and it was all pretty unbearable. That was just the effect it had on me, I cannot imagine how that could have been for my mum (of three young children at the time) losing somebody she loved enough to marry, the father of her children and become a single parent. To have my elder sister grow up super fast and become a somewhat father figure to me and my younger sister, everything good just seemed to vanish. It was hard. And it still is 12 years on. I don't understand how you could do that. 

If you want somebody else, leave. HOW can you live with yourself knowing you've got somebody else at home who loves you. It destroys peoples trust and faith in you, and as a result weakens the other person emotionally and I think it's sick. Having an affair whilst you're married is the lowest form of an affair, to have a secret passionate relationship when you've vowed to love somebody else forever is so fucked up, it really is.

I couldn't live with myself knowing I had ruined a love. I get that people do fall out of love but leave that person before you get with someone else, don't lie to somebody who loves you. People may come across as strong but I think having somebody do that to you could break anybody.

If you want somebody else, don't destroy somebody else in the process. Although it may be hard to end a relationship because you don't want to hurt them, it's much better to be truthful than ruin that persons relationships in the future and hurt them way more than a break up would. Where is your conscience? How can you live with that guilt? It really makes me sad that people can be that careless. 

Don't waste peoples time in getting into a relationship if you're not going to be committed. If you like freedom and being with different people, don't get into a relationship. Don't be stupid. If you're not happy in a relationship, you have every right to want to find somebody else,  but end it before you start again. I mean I know that cheating and having an affair are slightly different, as an affair is usually a repeated sequence but either way you're unfaithful and I think is awful. I really do, to go behind somebody's back who loves you is a hideous thing to do

Although I am viciously against unfaithfulness, I am a strong believer in that 'everything happens for a reason' and if my dad didn't do what he did I wouldn't be the person I am today. Not that I'm thankful that he did that, I'll never forgive him, but I like my life now and I'm happy where I am. But it should have never of happened and I still remember that night of a screaming match between my parents and how afraid and confused me and my sisters were, all three of us sitting at the top of the stairs crying, contemplating whether we should go down stairs or not. I don't think I'll ever forget that night.

After watching the Doctor Foster series I am even more against affairs.

Affairs are horrid. Don't be that person. 

Thanks for the question, what do you want next?

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant