Girls

Girls can be, and often are, the worst most horrible specimens to grace our earth. However, I am not here to talk about that kind of girl. I want to talk about the rare kind, the diamonds in the rough, hidden gems and best kept secrets. The girls who praise other girls. The ones who compliment one another. And most importantly, and the reason for this post, the ones who protect one another.

In this day and age I find that a lot of us are anxious, even the most confident of girls get uncomfortable with unwanted male attention. I think I speak on behalf of the majority of girls with the fact that 'oi oi' isn't as flattering as you may intend it to be, no means NO and it is NEVER okay to cross boundaries and touch us. (By that I do not mean 'I'm too prestige', I mean it as in inappropriately). My honest favourite feeling is when a girl senses your discomfort and literally saves you. I've read some lovely stories of when a girl has helped another girl out in a distressing situation so I thought I'd write about mine. 

A while a go I was on my lunch break. I usually spend these sitting alone, on a bench and listening to my music in my own little world because I find the staff room horrendously awkward. I had my bag in between myself and another girl.  Unfortunately, my 15 minutes were coming to an end when this guy came over and asked me if it was okay to sit where my bag was. Me, thinking nothing of it happily moved my little black bag and got ready to leave (as I needed to go back to work). He then said ''I actually came over because I thought you were beautiful''. I, very awkward and easily embarrassed, thanked him very much, he then continued to ask for my number, me, being uninterested, (and believe seeing somebody at the time) declined, explained why, apologized and then said that I needed to get back to work. My rejection must have hit a nerve, as he started to question it, called me a bitch because he thought going back to work was a getaway excuse. At this point I got a little stressed out and felt hideously uncomfortable, baring in mind that my music was still playing in one ear so in my tizz I couldn't really hear how rude he was being. My hands began shaking slightly and my chest swelled up in its usual manner. I honestly needed to get back to work I proclaimed, as he continued to, I guess, harass me. He then abruptly stood up and stormed off. A heavy weight was instantly lifted off of my shoulders. The girl on the other side of the bench was obviously listening in. I got up to go, when she stopped me to ask if I was okay, my initial response was 'Yes I'm okay thank you' although that salty water was rapidly developing.  It was nothing major what she did next but to me in the moment its all I needed. ''Are you sure you're okay? Did you want me to walk you back to work?'' Although I said that I'd be alright, the fact that she offered to somewhat, protect me, until I was safe was the most gratifying feeling. I felt so lucky, her words made me feel safe, I am still so thankful to this day.

Another, more recent act of kindness was on an exceptionally cold Saturday night. McDonald's decided that it would be a fantastic idea to lock a large group of intoxicated, hungry and fairly rowdy, cold teens outside until there was no queues inside. But, of course, there were a few middle aged, foreign men packed within the group. Whilst huddling up to my best friend two men behind us were getting unpleasantly close. One of them then put both hands on my shoulders and somewhat shook me and said ''you must be cold''. My face must have pictured how distressed I was. A girl who was with us, who I'd only met a few times and spoke to briefly so naturally wrapped her arms around me and gripped my hands until they opened the doors. It was so selfless. She's probably doesn't even remember doing it, but to me she is a literal angel.

So thank you, to all the lovely girls who have ever helped, protected or comforted girls when they are insecure. You're worth your own weight in gold.

Thank you for reading,

Apologies for the HUGE lack of posts, I should be back on track for weekly posts, I hope.

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:
INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Saying NO

I've seen this a lot recently on various social media, how people are getting shamed for saying no to guys. It really frustrates me. It's so much easier to lie and say you're in a relationship than to say ''No sorry, I'm not interested''. Because when you say 'no' you usually get the 'oh why not', 'let me take you out anyway' or the short and sweet, 'bitch'. Or whatever but when you say that you're seeing someone else people tend to back off. And it's crap that you have to lie to these people to tell them no. I know I'm not the only person who uses it as an excuse, although it may seem like a low blow and a rude thing to do, you don't have to put up the shit they give you after you have said no. I appreciate that it takes balls to ask somebody out, and it's mostly flattering but if I wanna say no, leave it there. 

'''I have a boyfriend' is the easiest way to get a man to leave you alone. Because he respects another man more than you''

I was on holiday in Greece earlier this year I made great friends with group people that were staying in our apartment block. At a club one night these two guys tried talking to me and my friend. I'm usually a great judge of character (if I do say so myself) I instantly knew what type of people they were, I didn't want to talk to them at all because as I knew what their intentions were when talking to us. I was not interested in the slightest. So when they tried it on with me, I declined I got all this crap questioning me as to why I wasn't interested. And yeah okay, I get you wanna know why but don't hassle me and make me feel like I'm a shitty person. If I said no, then no? I said he wasn't my type and I don't fancy him like in the nicest way possible, but this guy was obviously so full of himself and a complete dickhead that he wouldn't stop because he clearly thought he was good enough to carry on. One of the friends we made saw that I was uncomfortable in the situation and came over and said 'are you okay?' I responded 'Yeah I'm fine, let's go though'. And this piece of shit guy said ''oh is this your type then, fat and ugly?' and in that split second he epitomised exactly the type of guy I thought he was. It was so fucking unattractive and disgusting that someone could openly say that to somebody else. I felt so awful like it was my fault that he had had that said to him. There was nothing wrong with our friend and he wasn't fat nor was he ugly but this twat obviously thought he was way better than everyone else. It was so harsh I could've cried with anger and it still infuriates me months later.

Just because somebody may be attracted to you does not mean that you have to be attracted back. It makes me so mad that sometimes you're made to feel obliged to like somebody back. If it's made clear that someone is not interested, don't continue in trying to pursue that person. Talking to guys makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable. I don't really like going anywhere alone because I get heckled or whistled at and that makes me feel very uneasy. I do think it's sad that you have to lie to these people because it is easier than saying 'no' and it shouldn't be like that. 

P.S: If you are one of those guys who after I've said I have a boyfriend say ''Would you cheat on him'' please, go to hell, you are shit.

NO means NO.

Thanks for reading.

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant