Sunday, November 1, 2015


I have been SO busy over the past two weeks, back I'm back on track and will have my Wednesday and Sunday posts for you guys! (If you even noticed I wasn't posting LOL)

I got asked on tumblr what my views on affairs were, so sit tight. 

Cheating/affairs to me are literally the highest form of betrayal there is.

When I was 6 years old my dad had an affair, it completely tore my families world apart, it was hideous. Growing up was so difficult, having to get used to this new woman and not fully understanding what was going on. My mum moved to Kent but I stayed living with my dad until I was 12/13. I missed her too much so I left Essex and started a second, secondary school (which was so hard for me as I find it daunting meeting new people and get very anxious about it). It seriously ruined a big chunk of my childhood. Moving away from my best friend and knowing I'd hardly ever see her, Christmas was now difficult, different and awkward, half living with my mum, then my dads at weekends and vise-versa. Just not having that family feel that I craved. I've always been a daddy's girl and it was all pretty unbearable. That was just the effect it had on me, I cannot imagine how that could have been for my mum (of three young children at the time) losing somebody she loved enough to marry, the father of her children and become a single parent. To have my elder sister grow up super fast and become a somewhat father figure to me and my younger sister, everything good just seemed to vanish. It was hard. And it still is 12 years on. I don't understand how you could do that. 

If you want somebody else, leave. HOW can you live with yourself knowing you've got somebody else at home who loves you. It destroys peoples trust and faith in you, and as a result weakens the other person emotionally and I think it's sick. Having an affair whilst you're married is the lowest form of an affair, to have a secret passionate relationship when you've vowed to love somebody else forever is so fucked up, it really is.

I couldn't live with myself knowing I had ruined a love. I get that people do fall out of love but leave that person before you get with someone else, don't lie to somebody who loves you. People may come across as strong but I think having somebody do that to you could break anybody.

If you want somebody else, don't destroy somebody else in the process. Although it may be hard to end a relationship because you don't want to hurt them, it's much better to be truthful than ruin that persons relationships in the future and hurt them way more than a break up would. Where is your conscience? How can you live with that guilt? It really makes me sad that people can be that careless. 

Don't waste peoples time in getting into a relationship if you're not going to be committed. If you like freedom and being with different people, don't get into a relationship. Don't be stupid. If you're not happy in a relationship, you have every right to want to find somebody else,  but end it before you start again. I mean I know that cheating and having an affair are slightly different, as an affair is usually a repeated sequence but either way you're unfaithful and I think is awful. I really do, to go behind somebody's back who loves you is a hideous thing to do

Although I am viciously against unfaithfulness, I am a strong believer in that 'everything happens for a reason' and if my dad didn't do what he did I wouldn't be the person I am today. Not that I'm thankful that he did that, I'll never forgive him, but I like my life now and I'm happy where I am. But it should have never of happened and I still remember that night of a screaming match between my parents and how afraid and confused me and my sisters were, all three of us sitting at the top of the stairs crying, contemplating whether we should go down stairs or not. I don't think I'll ever forget that night.

After watching the Doctor Foster series I am even more against affairs.

Affairs are horrid. Don't be that person. 

Thanks for the question, what do you want next?

Chloë X

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