Saying NO

I've seen this a lot recently on various social media, how people are getting shamed for saying no to guys. It really frustrates me. It's so much easier to lie and say you're in a relationship than to say ''No sorry, I'm not interested''. Because when you say 'no' you usually get the 'oh why not', 'let me take you out anyway' or the short and sweet, 'bitch'. Or whatever but when you say that you're seeing someone else people tend to back off. And it's crap that you have to lie to these people to tell them no. I know I'm not the only person who uses it as an excuse, although it may seem like a low blow and a rude thing to do, you don't have to put up the shit they give you after you have said no. I appreciate that it takes balls to ask somebody out, and it's mostly flattering but if I wanna say no, leave it there. 

'''I have a boyfriend' is the easiest way to get a man to leave you alone. Because he respects another man more than you''

I was on holiday in Greece earlier this year I made great friends with group people that were staying in our apartment block. At a club one night these two guys tried talking to me and my friend. I'm usually a great judge of character (if I do say so myself) I instantly knew what type of people they were, I didn't want to talk to them at all because as I knew what their intentions were when talking to us. I was not interested in the slightest. So when they tried it on with me, I declined I got all this crap questioning me as to why I wasn't interested. And yeah okay, I get you wanna know why but don't hassle me and make me feel like I'm a shitty person. If I said no, then no? I said he wasn't my type and I don't fancy him like in the nicest way possible, but this guy was obviously so full of himself and a complete dickhead that he wouldn't stop because he clearly thought he was good enough to carry on. One of the friends we made saw that I was uncomfortable in the situation and came over and said 'are you okay?' I responded 'Yeah I'm fine, let's go though'. And this piece of shit guy said ''oh is this your type then, fat and ugly?' and in that split second he epitomised exactly the type of guy I thought he was. It was so fucking unattractive and disgusting that someone could openly say that to somebody else. I felt so awful like it was my fault that he had had that said to him. There was nothing wrong with our friend and he wasn't fat nor was he ugly but this twat obviously thought he was way better than everyone else. It was so harsh I could've cried with anger and it still infuriates me months later.

Just because somebody may be attracted to you does not mean that you have to be attracted back. It makes me so mad that sometimes you're made to feel obliged to like somebody back. If it's made clear that someone is not interested, don't continue in trying to pursue that person. Talking to guys makes me feel insecure and uncomfortable. I don't really like going anywhere alone because I get heckled or whistled at and that makes me feel very uneasy. I do think it's sad that you have to lie to these people because it is easier than saying 'no' and it shouldn't be like that. 

P.S: If you are one of those guys who after I've said I have a boyfriend say ''Would you cheat on him'' please, go to hell, you are shit.

NO means NO.

Thanks for reading.

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant

Love Yourself

I always see posts online of people saying 'love yourself before you love anybody else', 'love who you are' and stuff and I think that's true and great. My problem is however, as soon as somebody does show a hint of self praise they're shot down with 'full of themselves', 'big headed' and 'loves themselves too much'.

I grew up hating who I was, it's really sad. I know SO many people are/were the same. I remember literally screaming and crying one day when I was as young as 6/7? in my room because I thought I looked like a boy, and sounded like Malfoy from Harry Potter (lol). I think that is so so so sad that at that young age I was embarrassed of myself. I hope there is nobody that young that feels the same. This feeling was continual for so many years until the past year or so? My unhappiness was getting a little unbearable, looking in the mirror saying ''I hate you, you're ugly,'' I did that far too often and looking back at it now it's quite heartbreaking. I kinda bullied myself I guess, now if I'm feeling shitty I try be positive to myself because it helps. I'm so much happier with myself now. I ditched people who make me feel worthless, stopped caring what people might have thought about me and spent time with people I loved. If you surround yourself with people who love you, you will start to love yourself. 

It is SO important to love who you are, I believe its totally fine to like your body, your hair or facial features. You are you. If you don't appreciate yourself you'll be miserable, you'll train yourself to believe that nobody will want you, because you don't even want you. If you appreciate you, you won't care what other people think. I love the way I dress, I like how I do my hair, I like my make up and I like me and if somebody turned around go me and was like 'I don't like that' I'd let it go over my head, I don't care if somebody isn't a fan of what I'm doing with myself, I'm a fan.

So, love yourself. Tell yourself in the mirror that you look cool today. Rub your confidence off on other people so they can feel good too. Being told that 'you love yourself' shouldn't be an insult, embrace it. You're only given one life, it's up to you to make it a good one.

Thanks for reading.

Chloë X

Find me on my social media here:

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/chloedurant

TWITTER: www.twitter.com/chloedurant